(Again, this is a story that I never found a published ”home” for so I thought I would share it here. It is hard to abandon any of my babies without a decent farewell.) 

“What do you do for a living?”

I was attending a social function with my husband for one of the classes he was taking for graduate school. At a table crowded with people at least ten years younger than me, I tried to remember what it was like back when I was in college. But my reminiscing was cut short as one of my husband’s female classmates leaned through the conversations on course selections and global politics to ask me about my chosen profession.

This was not the first time I had been asked about my work status during my tenure as a stay-at-home mom to my six year old and two year old boys. But it was the first time I was asked by a young college student who probably had yet to consider how motherhood would one day impact her life.

Before I had children, I had given little thought to the fact that my mother, my grandmother, and my great-grandmother were all, at some point, stay-at-home mothers. But since their days in their chosen profession, the title of stay-at-home mom does not have the same luster.

So, in the past, when I have been asked this question about what I do for a living, I try not to freeze. I am proud to say that I chose to be with my children, even when the response may be silence.

Would the discussion continue if there was a better description for everything my job involved? Awhile back I played around with idea of some witty responses I could use when asked what I do. Maybe “I’m in management.” Or “I run a cleaning service.” I thought that I could say “I run a high-end daycare” or “I own a company devoted to the maintenance of domestic issues”.

Most of the time, my answer is that “I take care of the kids” and I might even add “…and other stuff” Because, between wiping away the tears and sticky lips, there is cleaning, washing, shopping, volunteering and general domestic engineering. Yes, there really is a glamorous side of being a stay-at-home mother.

When I tried to respond to the young woman about my job, the noise around us kept me from being heard, so I had to shout my response. 

“I take care of our kids,” I said, but I thought she hadn’t heard me, or at least I hoped she did not, because she gave me a quizzical look in response and leaned forward a bit further.

I paused while I ran the situation through my mind and found myself trying to qualify my situation. I wanted to tell her how I went to a big university much like the one she goes to now. I earned my bachelor’s degree. I earned my master’s degree. I worked in a job where I did important stuff, flew to see important people, made important people important money. I wanted to tell her that I had been places, I had done things. I wanted to tell her so much.

I wanted to tell her I was somebody.

But, instead, I sat back in my chair. For as much as I wanted her to know all of these things about me, I knew it was not important. So I said one word across the noise of our table, and knew she definitely heard me.

She sat back and smiled.

Maybe I would not be receiving a promotion this year, an award or lunch out for a job well done. But I knew I was somebody.

Especially to two little boys who were sleeping at home in their Cars and Batman pajamas.

I was proud to tell the young woman I have the important profession of Official Boo-Boo Healer in Residence.

And, by her reaction, she definitely recognized the importance of my role as “Mom”.